Ever since I turned 14 I always had this great shame of my family, especially my father. In fact I am lying. When I was a kid my dad used to force his interests on me. He liked cars, trucks , wood carving and Lego. I hated all that stuff (except Lego Technics, those made my eyes pop out) and liked playing with my plastic animals, reading and watching cartoons. So from an early age I never knew what to say to him. Most of the time he annoyed me as well, his loud way of talking and his love of war films.
As for my mother, when I hit the dreaded teen years, I became deeply embarrassed of her eccentricities. Both my sisters found her hilarious but I just wanted to shy away.
True they both helped me a lot as I was a child with severe dyscalculia and I was constantly bullied due to the fact that I wasn’t really interested in ‘normal’ things people my age did like sports. Plus later on during my o levels they both supported me. But I guess I chose to deliberately ignore that and keep on being embarrassed.
I would be as non committal as possible. I never yelled at them or treated them badly. I wasn’t even a problematic teenager ( maybe a super unambitious 20-year-old but how many people have career aspirations from the ages 20 – 25?) but I kept my distance even if I had to attend a gathering I would stay a long way behind them or when they would eat out I’d make sure not to go. Once as an effort I went to London with my dad in 2000 and our differences came out big time.
So when did this all disappear? I would say round about Christmas time this year. As always my gf helped me with this.
I started to realise that these two funny people I call my parents have cared and were continuously there for me from the day i saw daylight and it was rather silly of me to keep my distance. Perhaps it was my behaviour which was embarrassing Yes maybe what I am saying is a tired cliché but it is the truth and there’s no other way to put it.
I even went with my dad to the movies the other day. I didn’t mind it at all!